Being a Surrogate, changed my life
Gina Kinson’s perspective of Altruistic UK Surrogacy. MSJ’s Surrogate Coordinator.
At the age of 38 and after having three children of my own, very much yearned for something more. I never imagined I would step onto the pregnancy rollercoaster again let alone for someone else.
A friend from school had written the most incredible book about their own journey to parenting. I was moved at the long and tentative path they had to follow to reach their goal. It was at that moment I knew I wanted to be a surrogate. In less than a year I had convinced my family to get on board, researched the legalities and joined every group and page possible jumping head long into the Surrogacy Community. With the support of a lovely group of experienced Surrogates and Parents
I met a wonderful lady who would become the Intended Mother of this particular journey. It was instant, I warmed to her. I will call both ‘F&M’. They became not only our friends but part of our extended family. Together we were able to welcome two beautiful little girls into the world ‘E’ in 2016 and ‘G’ in 2019.
In the beginning with our first pregnancy we shared only with those around us. But as my growing belly became obvious it was all the more realistic and amazing. I was actually pregnant with another woman’s baby. Soon, I would have questions from the wider community. The fact that it was nearly ten years after the completion of my own family, it was no wonder I was receiving an increasing number of incredulous stares.
How does it feel to carry someone else’s baby?
I understood this question because usually at this stage, expectant mothers are presumed to be bonding with their baby. Every kick and every movement is a reminder of the life within, and the tiny human that will soon be joining the excited family. Except in this case, there was no new member of our family.
The day would come when I would go into labour, push a new life into the world and promptly hand that life over to another woman.Gina Kinson
Most people couldn’t imagine having to do something like that or even wanting to. Was feeling sad? Apprehensive? Overcome with emotion? The honest answer was, I was fine. Excited maybe, a little relieved to think I didn’t have to shop for prams or leaf through endless colour matches for a new nursery. I was looking forward to meeting this baby face to face. Then watching as they were placed in the arms of their parents. The two people who have been wishing and dreaming of this moment forever.
My dreams had come true, I had my three beautiful children, whom I had created with my husband and grown inside me. My own babies who I’d wanted and yearned for just like so many others. Whilst there will always be a special bond between me and the girls I have honestly, never ever felt maternal towards them, it’s a whole different feeling than that of a mother. I remember the overwhelming love I felt for my babies and I watched as F&M felt exactly the same when each of their precious girls were born. It is an incredible responsibility, and I felt so honoured to be a part of these girls journey into the world. A privilege is the only way to describe the feeling of being entrusted with someone else’s child, to be able to be blessed with the ability to carry a baby, and give that very much wanted child back to the parents who created them in the first place.
After riding the rollercoaster of IVF and watching others navigate their journeys I realised the amount of emotions and limitations that Surrogacy can throw up. I knew that I was ready to stop carrying babies myself but that I wasn’t finished with Surrogacy itself. During the last pregnancy I became an administrator of Hope Surrogacy Support, and was lucky enough to have been involved in the consultation of some of the law reforms surrounding Surrogacy in the UK.
It was during this period that I met Michael from TwoDads.U.K and became taken with his outlook for the future of Surrogacy. We interacted occasionally over the next 18 months. Then finally in 2020 Michael and Wes contacted me with a proposal.
I appreciate the amount of respect and understanding that goes into a Surrogacy Journey. Husbands, Partners, and Children are all contributors and effected by the emotions and dreams of both parties.
…the amount of support is vast, it is needed for not only the Surrogate and Intended Parent but for everyone involved in the experience.Gina Kinson
To trust someone else to have such an intimate and profound part in your child’s life is an incredible sign of strength. Watching your loved one give up their body for someone who essentially was a stranger whilst expecting you to support them is one of the hardest requests of all. To be able to help support and guide those future Surrogacy Journeys will be an amazing experience for me and I look forward to being involved in My Surrogacy Journey and working with Michael, Wes and the Team.